To mark 25 years since the Center for Courage & Renewal was founded.
Founded by Parker J Palmer, with his ideas, teachings and vision, and along with Marcy and Rick Jackson, who together put “wheels on the ideas”.
There was generous and enduring support from the Fetzer Institute too.
A pilot retreat, supported by Fetzer for teachers in Southwest Michigan was organised in January 1994, with the Fetzer evaluator describing it in his subsequent report as “a life-altering experience” and “unlike anything they had ever experienced before”.
And there began the slow and intentional growth of that small handful of seeds that would go on to develop into what the Center is today.
So this is not a sales pitch. This work altered my life too.
And I wanted to honour it with what I believe are the 25 things that make this work, unlike anything I have ever experienced before.
Here goes:
1. Love – this work is founded on love, for ourselves and for each other.
2. Silence – yesterday there were 350 people on the Zoom call, at one point we were invited to journal in silence for 5 minutes. When that silence dropped, in a group of that size, spanning 21 countries, I felt something powerful and empowering in the pit of my stomach. Something that is so rare in today’s culture. Silence is transformational.
3. Choose love over violence, but know that “violence is what happens when we don’t know what to do with our suffering” (P. Palmer). Those words have created the space in my life to be compassionate to those who have deeply harmed me. That is the most important thing.
4. “Start close to home” – thank you to Marcy Jackson for these words. If you want to change something. Launch something. Be something. Start close to home, and build from there.
5. “It could have been called The Center for Heartbreaking Work” – Rick Jackson. So true! Whether you are a teacher, doctor, carer, business leader, community organiser, parent, or spouse, if your path is true and worthy of your effort, it will surely break your heart, over and over again.
6. This work can heal. Whether it is burnout (my own way into this work), cynicism, grief, despair, or desperation, the work of the Center can heal those wounds.
7. The Center’s retreats offer safe spaces, but that doesn’t mean attendees will feel comfortable the whole way through, that’s why I heard them referred to once as “safe AND courageous” spaces, safe because no one will come along and try and fix, save or advise you, and courageous because they invite you to speak your deepest truths. One leads to the other, which leads to the other.
8. When growing something, don’t set out to scale at the speed of light, choose instead for “human scale”. Thanks, Parker! I wonder what else would benefit from growing at ‘human scale’.
9. When sitting in a Circle of Trust, you don’t need to edit what you say (see point 7).
10. The Center’s Circle of Touch touchstones are not just an operating manual for time spent on retreat, they can be used in everyday life too.
11. “I thought I was alone” – when people attend retreats and they start to sift through the challenges of their lives or professions, they suddenly realise they are not alone. That could be the most important thing.
12. To be seen, heard, and validated during a retreat is life-altering.
13. Inner work needs to be done alone, of course, only we can do the sifting through of the wreckage, but doing it together, in community, is where the deep integration takes place. Where the wounds radically heal into scars.
14. As a human race our survival depends on community – see point 13.
15. Questions are way more powerful than answers – here’s one from last night, “what do you want to remember?”. Learning how to ask better questions through my work to become a Courage & Renewal facilitator has been one of the most important lessons in my life.
16. Sometimes nothing beats a poem! – when we can’t muster the words to describe what we are feeling or dealing with, open up a book of poems, and you might just find someone has already written your first line.
17. Hold the tension – gosh that sounds a bit cliche – but no, holding the tension between what is and what could be, is where real transformation takes place.
18. Honouring the ground we stand on. I was moved by the number of folks on the call who openly named the land they were located on. Not their land, not my land, but the land we are mere guests on. This work extends beyond to the more than human world. That could be the most important thing.
19. “When the going gets rough, turn to wonder” – one of my favourite touchstones (see point 10). If I do nothing else but pay attention to what could be informing someone’s viewpoint, that moves me to a different place. Not just to empathy, but to something even more transformational.
20. We are whole and we are one. As I scanned across the patchwork quilt of faces yesterday it was heartwarming to see the sheer diversity of folks looking back at me. Whether it’s gender, race, sexual orientation, religion or neurodiversity to name just a handful, we are stronger as one. I couldn’t be more proud to be associated with an organisation that is leading the way when it comes to diversity. This is the most important thing.
21. Humour – the work of the Center is deep, life-altering and yes, sometimes heavy, and yet there were moments last night when I belly laughed, whether that was a joke from Parker or a funny story from a speaker. In a world where there’s enough to get us down, finding a moment to connect over something lighthearted is the most important thing.
22. Paradox is the key which unlocks everything – it is almost impossible to complete this walk of life without coming face to face with conflict. But holding those opposites, that tension (see point 17) is what Courage looks like and it opens up the possibility of a ‘third way’. Learning about paradox over the past five years or so has been the most important thing for me.
23. “The old maps no longer work” but books can be a compass. The number of people who have found the work of the Center through a book is amazing. We don’t have a map for our current, turbulent times, but books, including Parker’s can help guide us. For me, it was The Courage Way, written by Shelly L. Francis and the Center that set me on this path. I am forever grateful
24. Look back, look forward, look down. Taking time to reflect on my journey here. To dream about the future to come. And to stay present with the current realities is not something I have been very good at in my life. Too much “the grass is greener” led me to a place of dissatisfaction’ melancholy and eventually burnout, and that wasn’t good for me, or the relationships I was trying to hold on to. Courage work has taught me that I can do all three of those things, and not to let any one of them define me. That could be the most important thing.
25. “Know that it’s possible for the seeds planted here to keep growing”. I have heard those words spoken at the end of so many retreats. And they always make my heart skip a beat. No matter how tough things are right now, how hard life feels, how uncertain the path ahead is, or how loud I want to scream into the faces of oppression, simply knowing that it’s possible, whatever I chose ‘it’ to be, gives me a glimmer of hope. And often that is enough.
So there we are, the 25 most important things I have learned about the work of the Center for Courage & Renewal.
I wonder what the next 25 will bring.
Deep and sincere bows to everyone past and present who has worked so faithfully to bring this ‘work’ to the world.
And in the words of William Stafford,
You Reading This, Be Ready
Starting here, what do you want to remember?
How sunlight creeps along a shining floor?
What scent of old wood hovers, what softened
sound from outside fills the air?
Will you ever bring a better gift for the world
than the breathing respect that you carry
wherever you go right now? Are you waiting
for time to show you some better thoughts?
When you turn around, starting here, lift this
new glimpse that you found; carry into evening
all that you want from this day. This interval you spent
reading or hearing this, keep it for life—
What can anyone give you greater than now,
starting here, right in this room, when you turn around?
#transformation
#mindset
#courage
#renewal
#voice
3 Responses