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I remember the day I thought I was having a stroke like it was yesterday.
It was a hot day in August 2019. I was working as a CFO for a large corporation and had just finished a stressful meeting before rushing back to my desk, grabbing my laptop and shooting for the door – only just in time to make it in time to collect my youngest from nursery.
Then, as I sat down in my car, it hit me. The left-hand side of my face, arm, hand and leg went numb and I couldn’t feel anything at all on that side of my body.
I was overwhelmed by anxiety. Panicking, I asked my wife to do the nursery pick up and I made my way to A&E. I underwent numerous tests, a CT scan and MRI but the doctor couldn’t find anything wrong.
Nevertheless, it was a real wake up call. I knew this level of pressure was unsustainable and soon after I was signed off work with stress – the first time I had taken such radical action in my almost 20-year career.
Three weeks later, I was sat in a circle of strangers on the Wild Atlantic Way in Ireland on the second Courage & Renewal retreat I’d attended. During those quiet, reflective days in Ireland I started to realise that what I was experiencing was burnout. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally tired. My professional vibrancy had all but disappeared and I was struggling. And I knew my family and friends were getting the worst of me.
What I slowly began to realise over the course of the months that followed was that my ego had taken me to a place where my soul knew I didn’t belong. The fast-paced executive world of relentless deadlines, targets, politics, and tangible attainment.
In his poem ‘E-mail from the Soul’, William Ayot describes a niggling voice that says, “I must change my life”. And while it started as a niggling voice for me too, in the end it became a deafening scream that I couldn’t ignore.
Following that retreat in Ireland and realising the life-changing benefits I’d received from it, I took the first steps in becoming a Courage & Renewal facilitator. I slowly started to build a new type of life for myself; one that prioritised my health, my family and my purpose.
Today I feel stronger, more focused and happier than I have ever felt.
No one should ever have to sacrifice themselves in order to live a good life. Burnout should never be worn as a badge of honour. And I know that there is a different way. A more dignified, humane path to tread. I believe in this passionately and I know it’s possible.
That is why I have created The Will Johnson Journey. To share my learnings and to inspire people like you to find your own path, and to reconnect your soul and role in life.
Thank you for joining me on the Journey!